One Last Gift

Happy Anniversary to my love!  Today would have been our 8th wedding anniversary.  For once, I’m almost at a loss for words.  Imagine that, right?  The one that usually has too much to say can’t compose her thoughts to say something cohesive and profound.  Wait, wait, I said I was almost at a loss but I’ll keep it short.

I miss my husband more and more with each passing day.  I suppose that sounds cliché, but it’s true.  This season of “first FILL IN THE BLANK without him” days has been going full steam ahead, so my birthday in July and today, our anniversary hit especially hard.   In general, my husband was the more spontaneous one and he was also a master in the art of procrastination.  Those two traits worked in tandem, so normally he was scrambling the day before or day of a holiday and saying words that I used to dread but had come to accept and laugh at over the years, “What do you want for Christmas/your birthday/Mother’s Day/our anniversary?”  URGH!!!!   Occasionally, he was ahead of the game, but it was rare.   I supposed he was working to improve his track record because he’s now gotten two over on me.

The first was for my birthday on July 2.  Although my husband passed away on June 9, there was a package waiting for me upon my return to work in late July.  It had arrived on my birthday and my friends and coworkers were unsure whether to tell me about it.  It was a birthday gift from my husband.  An item that I had been eyeing and window shopping for almost a year.  And yes, in the corner of my girlfriend’s office, I was reduced to pile of tears.

The second was last night.  As I was searching for one of my favorite wedding pictures to add to the blog today, I came across a folder on my husband’s laptop that brought me to my knees.  Yes, actually caused my knees to buckle and I cried like a baby, while on the floor in front of the desk in my bedroom.   After getting engaged, my husband jumped into wedding planning with more enthusiasm than I thought he’d have.  He was excited about the next chapter of our lives together and it showed.   We were surrounded by the love of family and friends, and we relished in every single moment of it.  My only teeny weeny regret was not having things videotaped.  I’ve expressed this to my husband over the years and this year it seems, he sought to do something about it.  The folder that I found contained a wedding “video” of sorts – over 400 of our wedding photos, set to a soundtrack with some of our favorite songs.  I can tell that he planned to do more because of the unfinished/unpolished ending, but the part that he did finish is so very precious to me.

I decided to share a few of the photos along with the intro song.   For those that know me IRL, you’ll recognize many of the pics as I prepared something similar for my husband’s services in June.  This song, “Stars” by Kindred was very special to us.  Per the quote below, I have no regrets and no unspoken words for my husband truly knew my heart, and I knew his.

“Let today be a day where you take nothing for granted. For life is fleeting, fragile and precious and can change on a whim. Say all the things you really want to say to your loved ones today, say the things you would regret should they pass on and your words remain unspoken. Rejoice, for you and they are alive today – and should you or them pass on to unknown shores, rejoice even more for you have a wonderful love story to tell.”

– Jackson Kiddard

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57 thoughts on “One Last Gift

  1. Happy Anniversary, what a lovely post and awesome gift he left you! We do not know the day or time of our death but sometimes God grants us warnings and after reading about your birthday and anniversary I believe your husband may have been privy to a “feeling or hint” of him not being with you.
    Peace & love dear.
    Regina

  2. I don’t think I’ve seen anything as beautiful as this testament to love. It shines in each in every picture. God’s blessings.

  3. This was absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing a snippet of your life with random strangers like me. I can’t imagine what you’re going through but I pray that God will continue to strengthen and keep you and your son.

  4. Happy Anniversary of the day that God brought two hearts together! You will always have these beautiful memories and can share them with your little one. Isn’t God amazing? He allowed your husband to still be with you on your birthday and on your 8th anniversary. I can’t begin to guess how you feel and this definitely makes me think about the what if’s. Thank you for sharing with us today. #BLMGirl

  5. Happy Anniversary! This was hard for me to read because I can only imagine how you may feel at times. I know that things will get better and I find it an extreme blessing that you were able to experience true love. God bless you!

  6. You really cannot put feel totally comfortable with words trying to express the kind of love these pictures convey. Pure. Beautiful. Eternal.

  7. absolutely beautiful! I have shared this with others because of how deep this is! it goes beyond the surface and just shows how connected you two were. ((HUGS)) and more ((HUGS))

  8. That was absolutely beautiful Mrs TDJ. I have tears rolling down my cheeks at work as I view this and could only imagine the rush of emotion it brought to you upon your discovery. *hugs*

    Your husband loved you immensely as evidence in your thoughtful and humorous post and now wedding “video”.

    Thank you so much for sharing.

  9. I just watched your video for the first time. I also have tears rolling down my cheecks. You are one lucky woman to have experienced such a beautiful, pure, love. I can see it in both of your eyes and in the pictures you shared. Thank you for sharing your story with me at dinner the other night. Thank you for reminding me to never take forgranted love, and to soak up all the precious moments that we have been giving together. .

    God bless you and your son.

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