Ain’t No Harm In Tryin’, Right?

Like most women, I like to look and smell good.  Over the last two years or so, I’ve been under the bad influence of some ladies I know from an online forum and I’ve developed an addiction interest in delicious smelling bath and body products.  There is a specific company whose products make me swoon.  I have a personal favorite scent which is a heavenly blend of pomegranates, apple, vanilla and musk. **sigh**  I tend to wear this scent often and I receive lots of compliments, from both men and women.  Today’s encounter was the most entertaining, so I figured I’d tell ya’ll how it went down.

Around 10am, I snuck out of my office to hit the credit union before the lunch rush.  After parking, I booked it (2009, Creole in DC) inside trying to make this visit as fast as possible.  As I was heading in, I noticed two older gentleman taking it slow and easy toward the credit union doors.  Slow and easy, as in one dude had a walker and the other needed one.  Once inside, I get into line behind one other person and figured I’d be in and out pretty quick.  NOT! Slow and slower make it to the line and they stand behind me.  And, although I thought I was a stone wall, they started talking to me anyway.  I would later find out that their names were Clarence and Theodore, so I’ll go ahead and use them in the convo.  Clarence is the gentleman with the walker and Theodore is his slow friend.  They reminded me of these two:

Theodore:   You didn’t have to walk all fast like that.  We’d have let you get in this here line first.

**he and Theodore are smiling and grinning**

Me:  Oh no sir, I wasn’t trying to run past you and your friend.  I’m in a hurry to get back to my office.

Clarence:    Smellin’ all good too.

Me:  Uh, thank you.

Theodore:  Ummm humh, she sure do Clarence.  I don’t know what you smell like, but it’s good enough to make me want to bite it.

Me:  Uh, thank you.

Clarence:  Yes indeed.  I know the women.  I got 3 ex-wives and ain’t none of ’em every smell that good.

**Clarence and Theodore share a chuckle, while I smile and pray the line moves quickly**

Theodore:  Nope, ain’t none of ’em ever smell good as her.

Clarence:  And looking all good too.  You spoken for young lady?

**I smile while holding up my left hand**

Me:  Yes sir, I am.

Theodore:  Lucky man, I say, lucky man.

Clarence:  Yeah, cause if you wasn’t, I’d try to make you my 4th.

**I blink rapidly and can’t get a thing to come out of my mouth**

Theodore:  Not if I could get her first.

Me:  Um, thank you for the compliment gentlemen.

Clarence:  I know we a little old, but we’re mature and I’d take you real nice.  You see we in the bank right?

Me:  Uh, yeah, I’m sure you’d be able to take care of your family just fine.

Finally, from the teller window, I hear, “NEXT!” and I spring forward to the window.  But, the credit union is very small and I’m only a few steps from the fellas.

Theodore:  Smells like springtime and juicy fruit.

Clarence:  Yeah, good and juicy.  Got an old man all worked up over some damn smell good.

Theodore:  She’s too young though.  Sure got us a smile today though.

Clarence:  You never know, Theodore.  Ain’t no harm in tryin’, right?

I finished my business at the window and waved to my new buddies as I walked out.  They waved back, each grinning like old fools.  So, thank you Mr. Clarence and Mr. Theodore for my, uh, compliments.  And thank you to the company that has supplied me with my handmade oh so delicious fragrance.  I’m happy I could brighten the morning of two dirty friendly old men!