What Did MrsTDJ Say?

Hey blog world, what’s the haps?  I’ve been busy at work, therefore kinda quiet over in these parts.  But, I had to pop in to tell you about a conversation that I had in the office yesterday.

Hubs, LittleTDJ and I took some pics over the Christmas holiday, so I framed one pic of LittleTDJ and placed it on my desk at work.  Folks had been gently teasing me for months since the last pic I had framed was from his dedication ceremony, October 2009.   Yeah, yeah, I know. Zip it!

The pic is of a happy and smiling LittleTDJ, the same as my current facebook profile pic for any of ya’ll who are my buds over there.  Insert random co-worker who seems to have a somewhat weird fascination with LittleTDJ.  Let’s call her Dorothy.  Why?  Because she reminds me of Bea Arthur’s character, Dorothy, from the Golden Girls.   So, prior to my pregnancy, Dorothy and I were barely on a “hi/bye” level.  Once she found out that I was pregnant, she began stopping by my desk to chat and emailing me once a week “to check on your health”.  Um, I’m fine.  How are you?  **sigh**  She bought me a big ticket baby shower item and she’s constantly hovering to see pics of my dude.  Hmmm.  Ok.  I tend to keep our convos short and brief, he’s great, he’s happy, getting big, blah blah blah.  I know that random folks love babies and feel connected and happy just being around them.  I get it, but Dorothy is a little um….extra.

Anyway, yesterday went like this:

Dorothy:   Oh my gracious!!  This is a new picture!

**clearly it is, so I remain silent**

Dorothy:   Wow MrsTDJ, he is such a handsome little boy.  I mean each picture and he keeps getting cuter and cuter.

Me:     Thanks Dorothy.  He’s a really great little guy and he brings us so much joy.

Dorothy:    And his features, they’re just so…..so…..exquisite.  I just can’t get over how beautiful he is.

**ok Dorothy, I get it.  He’s cute.  You’re starting to creep me out a little.**

Dorothy:    You know, he favors you a little, but he really takes after your husband.

Me:    Yup, he sure does.  Two peas in a pod.

Dorothy:    And since your husband is handsome, and then you add in your complexion, I’m almost speechless just looking at him.

**ok Dot, I’m gonna need you to cool  your heels.  I’m already creeped out and you’re getting ready to make me mad.  You’re approaching a minefield and you seem completely oblivious**

Dorothy:    I’ve just gotta say, over the years, I’ve seen some really cute black babies.  But really, this little guy takes the cake.

**silence and hard stare**


Dorothy:    Honestly?  I think that blacks make much cuter babies than blacks.  Even when the parents aren’t that attractive, you guys turn out the best babies.

Me:  ????????????????????????????????????????

So dear reader, how long have ya been reading your girl?  Do you feel like you have a teeny inkling about your girl would react in this situation?  What do you think I said and did in response to Dorothy?  What would you have said and done?


39 thoughts on “What Did MrsTDJ Say?

  1. Black people make cuter babies than white people? It’s obvious from your comments Dorothy that white people make dumber babies than Blacks.

    Too mean? Too racist? Prob shouldn’t match racism with racism, huh?

    I’d probably have asked her to keep her prejudices and preferences to herself from now on.

    So curious to hear what you said!

  2. I wish I could say I was shocked. I had a coworker who told me EVERY.DAMN.DAY of my pregnancy that he and his wife just loooooved little black babies because they were soooooo cute and that they hoped to adopt one one day. What the hell?!?

    For your situation, I’mma say you took the high road and just excused yourself from her presence! Or maybe that’s just what I’m hoping happened!

  3. I just started reading like 3 minutes ago when I got the like from Rantings of a Creole Princess and er um, she woulda got tole.

  4. I would have asked her why would you say something like that?? Especially the one about two not so attractive people making a beautiful baby. Sometimes you have to educate folks regarding the foolishness that comes out of their mouths. Of course, I would have done it in a nice way, but she would know not to ever say something like that ever again.

  5. You should’ve said “Damn, maybe his father should’ve been black instead of the white guy down the street!”

    WOW! I can not believe people feel so comfortable as to let certain things come out of their mouths in public. SMH…and I am really curious how you handled this one.

  6. I like Gladys’ comment. Some people try to connect and honestly don’t mean a thing by it at all. YOu can’t take offense over every sily comment.

    Besides, brown babies are cute! And unfortunate looking people do tend to have cute babies.


  7. This is an ongoing thing with a lot of white people. I heard it about our babies and kids. I’m sure you remained composed and nice-nasty told her to get away from you.

  8. My jaw dropped too. Boy, you could see how she was working her way there. Wow. Um, wow. Okay, but, okay, it is true that your baby is cute, right? And it is true that we have cute babies. And it’s not that she’s never seen a cute black baby, it’s that she often sees cute black babies even when the parents are…unattractive. But she thinks you all are attractive. *sigh* Dorothy’s statements came out weird and wrong and it does remind me of The Color Purple scene and it should have stayed inside her head. Saw you on CreoleinDC.

  9. I’m not surprised either. I know you got her told and if it wasn’t in a nice way, I’m not mad at you! Sometimes the delivery must be harsh in order for the message to be taken seriously (and to heart). I’m just sayin………

  10. I think she just doesn’t know any better. She thinks that if she makes a racist remark that is complimentary in nature, it’s not racist. But it most certainly is! I mean, who says something like that.

    But there really is no right response because if you’d have agreed with her, she’d think YOU were racist. Like if you’d said “Yes. Black babies are the cutest babies. Much cuter than white babies.” She probably would have spit her coffee out. I’m imagining her drinking coffee during this conversation so my spit-take would make sense.

  11. She reminds me of my *cough* South Philly Obama hating co-workers. Ignorance is bliss and in her mind, I am sure she was paying you a heavy compliment.

    As they say, never argue with a fool….just send a polite email to human resources.

  12. I am worn out over people and their random A comments. You are very patient and allowed the conversation to go on WAY LONGER than it needed to go on!
    Black Babies, Black People making cute babies, and whatever the hell else she said…
    delete her.

  13. O_O HUH??

    She was really crazy for that, but l agree she thought she was paying you a compliment. I hope you got her told real good in way she will never say that to anyone again,but still had to pick her face up off the floor.

  14. I have heard that before. In my case, the blabbermouth tried to clarify it with…”Black babies eyes are so bright. The mothers always put the barrettes in their hair and brightly colored outfits.”

    She is certainly entitled to think that. But she has clearly crossed the boundaries for a working situation.

  15. its like that one time when i was little and the lady at my father’s pt session touched my face and said “she is such a lil cutie, her name is Tiffany, my dog’s name is Tiffany” YEA! needless to say he went OFF
    i guess if you said, well “at least they don’t all look alike” o_O yea exactly
    some people don’t know what to say out of their mouths

  16. I can imagine that whatever your response was, she won’t be saying anything else to you EVER again.

    I would have suggested that she go back to her cubicle/office, if she didn’t want her feelings hurt.

  17. I would have said, ” blacks make cute babies huh? Even ugly blacks…? Oh… okay.” And that would have been the last thing I said before I started ignoring the shit out of her. I can’t give ignorant people attention. Specially since they keep going and going once u do.

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