I’ve always had bad luck when it comes to having packages delivered. U.SPS is the absolute worst and I try to avoid them no matter the situation. Sounds extreme, right? Not. You must be unfamiliar with THIS moment in TDJ history. So, that leaves UP.S and F.edEx. I normally roll with the F.edEx folks. My packages ALWAYS get to me. Novel concept, huh? I’ve been forced to do UP.S because of Ama.zon but all had been ok. Until this package. Ugh. Well, Natasha the Newlywed had some UPS issues this holiday season too, which reminded me that I hadn’t told you guys about our situation. But, as things unfolded, perhaps I was too quick to pass the blame to brown.
Hubs ordered some techie computer parts from e.bay and forgot about them. After what seemed to be too long, he inquired to the seller and they emailed a tracking number from U.PS. I logged on to their website and saw this:
Hope ya’ll can read that. It says that the brown man delivered our package on 12/17/10 to our front porch. Oh yeah???? Hmm, I’m not liking the way is heading. The fam and I live on an excellent block in a decent neighborhood. But eh, I could walk to some not some pleasant pockets with ease, ya know? Since it was 12/21/10 by this point, clearly there was a problem. Just in case my trick eye was acting up, I went out to the front porch and scanned it for packages. And when I say “scanned”, I mean “blinked” because our porch is just large enough for 2 small chairs and a teeny weeny wrought iron table. It’s more like a “landing”, but I prefer the term “porch”. Anyways, after completing my assessment, I decided to check the back porch. Often, the Fe.dEx folks would put packages out back. Because again – we don’t live that far from the thugs and thugettes. Fe.dEx gets it and hopes that unattended packages make it to their intended destinations. Ya’ll remember when those fools drove through my fence? Bastards. Anyway, I checked and nope, no box on the back porch either.
I call UP.S back and am told that I’ve got to contact the shipper to initiate “trace locate” protocols. OK. Email seller and he says he’ll handle it. Seller says that after a 10 day investigation with UP.S, he will ship another package and I promptly supply my work addy. I’m a little salty with UP.S, but eh, ish happens right.
Fast forward to yesterday, 12/29/10, 12 days after the “front porch” delivery. LittleTDJ and I get home and find this on the table:
The mystery package! So, the orange man got us after all. Here’s what I know happened: Brown man delivered package to front porch in the middle of the afternoon, 8 days before Christmas. One or more orange men saw said package and thought that they were on the comeup. Orange men scooped package from porch and kept moving. Once they were in a safe location, they hastily tore into said package and were at first confused. “WTF is this?”, they said to one another. Frustration replaced confusion as they realized they took a risk for NOTHING. Remember, MrTDJ is a techie. So, he builds computer servers and duplication stations, etc. Two of these were in the box:
Nothing you can use suckas!! The orange men were irritated, frustrated and disappointed that they didn’t score anything good for street sale or to give away as a Christmas gift. I’m shocked that they actually brought the box back. Not only did they bring it back, but contents were shoved inside of a flimsy black convenience store (aka liquor store or “carryout”). All pieces are accounted for and intact, minus a tear to the paperwork/invoice.
Sorry for blaming you brown man. It was the orange man this time.