Ready? Set? Let’s Race!

That’s it!  I’m putting my sign up and recruiting for a partner. I’ve been thinking, hoping, wishing and contemplating for years over this decision.  And now?  I’m finally ready to officially share it with ya’ll.  I’ve had a thing for reality shows since they game out.  I even wrote about my little addiction a few years ago in this post here.    I’ve always wanted to go on one.

Considered The Real World on MTV back when it was hot, but I wasn’t nearly as wild as they like their contestants to be.  I am a total STAN for everything Top Chef and I’m kinda nice in the kitchen, but I’m no where near the caliber of those contestants.  Survivor sounded good until they start picking skinny and/or pumped up folks only, and the idea of traipsing around in a bathsuit for weeks on national tv is completely unappealing to me.  I think I could do well on Big Brother, but I think I’m a little too old to win against the 20 somethings they normally pick.

A show that’s in my top 5 is The Amazing Race.  Just in case you’ve never watched, here’s the show in a nutshell.  Eleven (2) member teams go on a race around the world.  They start somewhere in the U.S. and spend the next few weeks traveling from city to city, continent to continent, performing challenges that are authentic or symbolically representative of the places they visit.  Each city or “leg” has a finish line and one team is eliminated.  The final three race back to the U.S. and the first team to make it is the winner.  Sounds pretty simple right?  The good folks over at wiki.pedia break it all the way down over here.

I want it ya’ll.  I want to be on that show.  I’ve wanted it since I watched the very first episode in September 2001.   Traveling the world, doing challenges, feeling the burst of adrenalin and excitement, while having a ball with a partner.  Ahh, sweet.  But alas, I need a partner.  There are few pesky CBS rules.  All contestants must over 21 years of age, U.S. citizens living in the U.S., valid U.S. passport, reasonable physical and mental health, and you can’t be hold a current political office or be looking to hold one for one year after the show airs.  Umm, ok to the last one.  No worries there.

Fine.  I’m cool with all those.  Now, down to the nitty gritty – the partner.  I’ve watched husbands/wives, siblings, BFF’s, neighbors, sorority and fraternity buddies, cousins, work colleagues, etc.  Soooooooooo, who’s with me?  The perfect partner is ready to brave the elements, keep their cool, sleep in less than ideal conditions, and just be ready to roll with whatever the game throws.  Is that you?

Let me tell me some of my strengths and weaknesses.  If any of my weaknesses are you strengths, I’m gonna need you to holla at cha girl.

Strengths

  • calm and collected, even under pressure AKA I will NOT cuss you out when you f*$# up a challenge)
  • healthy and in decent physical shape.  I do commit to improved my stamina and ability to run short distances AKA I’ll be able beat another team in a 50 yd dash.  100?  We’re going home.
  • not afraid of heights
  • moderately fluent in French, rudimentary knowledge of Spanish AKA great help in some European and South American countries.  Pretty useless in Asia and Africa, where the show loves to go.
  • willing to eat weird ish AKA I’m your girl when it comes to eating cow brains, beetles, and pig tails
  • very charming in sticky situations

Weaknesses

  • I can’t swim.  Nerp, not a lick.  I love the water and I’m not afraid of it.  I can float and tread water a little, but not swimming.  I’d try to learn before the race starts, but I can’t guarantee I’d be proficient.  Usually only partner has to do a swimming challenge, so we should be cool.
  • In many countries, cats are either revered creatures or simply allowed to run free.  This point, boys and girls, is kinda crucial.  If you know me in real life or have been reading my blog for more than a second, my paralyzing fear of cats is well known to you.  If you have no idea what I’m talking about, click here or here for some context.  Now, this little sticking point may prove a little challenging for my partner and I.  If we actually were selected for the show, I might consider some therapy for my fear.  Assuming that it wasn’t “cured” by race time, I’d need my partner to really have my back.  I’m talking about 20/20 vision to scan the scenery for all evil creatures, a menacing growl and bark to discourage the bastards from coming anywhere near us and a strong arm so that when I grab you and dig my fingernails into your flesh, you don’t cry out nor hold it against me later.

Have you ever wanted to be on a game show or a reality show?  Which one?  Anyone ever been interested in the Amazing Race?  You want to partner with yours truly?  Let a sista know.  We could bring home a million bucks!!

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36 thoughts on “Ready? Set? Let’s Race!

  1. I didn’t know that rule about the political office. Interesting…

    Umm, I am definitely not your girl for this one. I don’t eat crazy stuff, I can’t swim, and hell, I don’t even like planes. So I would be kind of useless.

    But I really want to be on The Price is Right or Wheel of Fortune. I think I could beast at those. Also love Cash Cab but some of those questions stump me.

    • Yeah, the political office thing was a little surprising to me too.
      Owww, I love Cash Cab! And for the record, I will ALWAYS choose to go double or nothing on the video bonus!

  2. I’m in! I’ve tried to talk my mom into going on this show. I can’t swim, but I’m willing to work on it! I speak a little Spanish and can say thank you in Chinese 🙂 If I can close my eyes, I can eat it (once anyhow). I’m not scared of cats but I am allergic. Nothing a little benadryl can’t handle. I’m scared to DEATH of rodents though and will likely pass out if I have to see/touch/encounter one. Serious business? I’d love to!!!

    (Please define reasonable mental health. LOL!)

  3. I just posted this on my fb last week…that I want to go, but don’t have a partner. I can swim, I hate cats, but I’m not necessarily afraid of the evil things. I will cuss in frustration, but not at you or about you. I can handle basic spanish.

    Other strengths:
    I make friends easily with strangers
    I’m high energy and upbeat
    I’m very competitive (this may be a weakness as well)
    I can sprint it out with you.
    I think critically and logically in tough scenarios

    Weaknesses:
    Heat frustrates me, but my competitiveness won’t let that stand in the way of a challenge
    I can’t eat things that stink
    I wear contacts (not sure if one were to fall out, etc…but I would keep my glasses on hand).
    my sense of direction weak, but If I have a map or compass I’m good

    there is a casting call here on the 15th that I wanted to go to, but you have to have your partner with you. I’m certain we could do our videos separately and then edit to merge them.

    I’ve read all the rules as well…I’ve been wanting to do this show and big brother for the past 5 years. Everytime I mention it to a friend, they always say, “ok, girl let’s do it next time.”

    The show has never had “blog friends” before…that would be soooo cool. I’m so serious….let me know what you think. Email me…something. I wanna go AND win this thing!

  4. Ooooo, I love the Amazing Race!! Each time a new season starts, my hubs is like, “we should go on that show!”

    Just the fact that you would eat all of that stuff make you the ideal partner, because me and the man would be going home because neither of us would volunteer to do it!

  5. Oh, I really hope you get on the show! That would be amazing!

    Whenever I watch Amazing Race I always think to myself how I would be the worst contestant but I know I’d get lots of airtime because I’d be a hot mess.

    I’m scared of heights. I can’t eat anything gross. I get wicked motion sickness really easily (boat, car, train, plane, everything). I hate rushing. I’m not very observant. I have a terrible sense of direction. I’m grumpy when I’m hungry or sleepy. I hate not knowing where I’m going. I’m in terrible shape. I hate being cold. I can’t swim. I can’t speak any other languages. I always have to pee. Airports stress me out. And on occasion, I’m known to drop a curse word or 50. LOL!

    But it would be a great way to visit a lot of other countries and experience a lot of other cultures and traditions in a short period of time.

    I hope you do get on the show. You’d be my sheroe! Just don’t be the first team to go home.

    • Ha ha @ being a hot mess and getting air time. Yup, you’ve watched reality tv to know that’s rule #1.
      I’m so determined to make this happen! And I promised to not let you down – it’s so embarrassing to be first team/contestant to exit any show.

  6. It sounds like you might have found the perfect partner based on Aretha’s response! Blog buddies would be a great partnership (thats so cute…) I never watch the show but if you were on I definitely would. Please let us know how that goes so I can tune in, cause you never know…

    On a side note: I could put my body through any kind of grueling task and I’m highly competitive, but I CANNOT, I repeat, CANNOT eat anything weird. LOL

    • Yes, Aretha and a few others have all thrown their hats in the ring! I can’t wait to talk to everyone and make this work! I’ll be sure to update the blog world if we get picked.

  7. I think that is a great idea.

    I can swim and I love cats. I also speak spanish and pick up language very easily.

    The blog thing would be a big selling point. Two people that only know each other through the internet? Very interesting concept. And we are both mothers to young children?

    I just need to know that you won’t quit during a competition. I would find that highly unacceptable and you would likely get smoov cussed out on national TV.

    Consider me!

  8. I actually want to go on Big Brother. Even though I am a fossil, I’m still really considering doing it in the next year or two. I love reality shows. But none that are too physically taxing. I can’t be running around the world, or climbing anything or eating bird crap and bugs or any of that stuff. If there is no electricity for my curling iron there is no way I’m going.

    • Big Brother was a dream of mine for awhile too. I would so cheer you on if you did it. Just remember that alliances are great until they’re not! *lol* Watch you own back and don’t be a polarizing force in the house. Middle of the road is the path to victory.

  9. I have been aching to do The Amazing Race forever!!! I had a possible partner. He is a cop in TX. We were gonna be the Law & Order team. Catchy, huh? Downfall? You have to send in a video where you BOTH appear in it at the same time. I’m in MI, he’s in TX. Sorta difficult.

    But, I am still eyeing the Race b/c I want it SOOOOO bad! I speak Spanish and English. That’s it. I know French and Spanish have some similarities.

    I’m not a strong swimmer but I would become one. I’ve been trying to recruit my sister or Mister to be my partner. Now that I have the time, I’m dead serious about applying. This past season, you had to be available to travel for at least 3 continuous weeks. Couldn’t do that with law school. I had the app, read the rules and errthang!

    Is it wrong to have a plan B approach? Cuz my goal is to win as many legs of the race cuz you get GREAT prizes there. If I win the million? Oh yeah! I’m happy. If I win 7 legs of the race? I’m GOLDEN!

    • I like that – Law and Order Team! One of ya’ll has to visit the city of the other so you can get that video made!!!!
      Yeah man, the prizes for the legs are great too!! I’d take any of those.

  10. I LOVE the Amazing race!!!!

    I’m dying at the fact that you can eat the weird stuff! I would totally make us lose that with my instant gag and vomit reflex.

    I hate cats but I’m not scared of em and I ain’t afraid to kick one. I’m sorry to ALL the cat lovers and PETA but if one gets too close or poses a threat it’s ON!

    I can swim

    I know some Spanish and I’m analytical so I could figure out some things.

    But I am known to flip out in stressful situations and I do cuss when angry. I’m extremely competitive. I hate too lose and I’m a brat when I’m hungry or cold.

    So I would probably be on TV looking all ignant which is why nobody wanted to do the show with me. LOL! But my friends and fam are whimps!

    So I agree Aretha sounds like she would be a better partner. That was so hard to write LOL!

    • Um, yeah flipping out under stress?? No beuno. *lol* And like Nicole said, tv loves to watch a good meltdown.
      BWAHAHA @ you admitting that someone else might be a better fit. I appreciate the honesty! I’ve got quite a few good contenders out there in blog world!! I’m hyped up!

  11. I’m your huckleberry. I can swim, will stomp the fugg outta a cat that would possibly get in the way of our winnings, I was a supply & logistics officer – so I can con the best out of anyone what we need to get the job done, I am VERY good with directions and orienting a map – had to be in order to find ish on the battlefield…I have slept in a foxhole, survived survival training, repelled outta helicopters, and have a jungle warfare badge.

    I have also traveled to almost every continent too.

    I GOT THIS. And I got your back.

    Pick me, Pick me!

  12. Can’t help you. I want to be interviewed on The Tonight Show, I wanted Oprah (bah)… I’d also like to appear on one of my favorite sitcoms and SNL. But I ca… WAIT. TOP CHEF!! Not as a cheftestant, but as an eater!! And I’d be a judge on Project Runway. That’s all I got. I can’t do that stuff needed on Amazing Race. Sleeping in “less than ideal conditions”? Deal breaker.

    Oh and I had a student who was on S.urvivor. He was hilarious but didn’t appreciate his portrayal on the show. He adored the show and is still obsessed with it and delighted to have been on it!

    • Really @ wanting to be on The Tonight Show? I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that before. You can find a way to achieve that J.
      Yeah, the sleeping part doesn’t bother me. I can sleep almost anywhere, on anything, dark or night, cold or hot. Doesn’t matter.
      Interesting re the student on Survivor. They say editing is a beyotch most of the time.

  13. My Amazing Race/Survivor/Real World eat crazy stuff days are behind me now (left all of that behind me when I got out of the Army) but I can cheer like a pro! So if you grab a partner, I’ll be the first person jumping off my sofa to cheer you on.

  14. I commented on your another post about always going on Amazing Race. All i need is a partner. But I need to really get in shape (I’v already started. Lost 15 pounds and want to lose 10 more). Since it’s been cold I haven’t been to the track since Oct. Last time I went, I ran 2 miles without stopping. I said I wanted to at try out, send in a video, or whatever in 2012. This is one reality show I really want to go on. I’m not afraid of cats. I’m excellent at solving puzzles. I have an excellent memory! I’ve been watching since the second season so I know how to play the game. I’m not afraid of heights. I’m not afraid of doing anything adventurous like bungee jumping, skydiving, etc. Overall, I’m a cool and collected person even under stressful situations. I may lose my cool thought if you quit. I’m not willingly to quit no matter how tired I am.

    I don’t speak any foreign languages. I don’t know if I could eat strange things.

    I can’t swim but I’m really to learn. Same as driving a stick shift.

    I’m your girl if you want to go in 2012!

  15. I’ve never seen the show but heard of it. It sounds really interesting and like it would be a blast. Even if you didn’t win, just to have the opportunity to travel to different places around the world in such a short period of time would be amazing. If I were in better physical condition I’d do it in a heart beat. I swim like a fish, I don’t like cats but they don’t scare me. I’d punt one like a football for a chance to win some loot. Lol Eating nasty things….Ummmm….so not me. I have a hard time eating normal things and have a serious texture issue so eating something like cow brain or monkey nuts…NO THANKS. LMAO.

  16. I LOVE Amazing Race! Two seasons ago me and my hubby said we would enter. We have it all planned out as to who would do what 🙂 I didn’t really care for the current season, as there wasn’t a couple I really liked. But, Last season with the Harlem globetrotters was one of the best ever!

  17. I’ve always wanted to be on Amazing Race…. But I think I would show my behind on that show… and see… there is just no need for that 🙂

  18. I’m late, but what else is new? Trip I would SO go on TAR with you!!! Love that show (btw, congrats to Nat & Kat!). Your strengths mirror mine except I speak Sapnish, not French 🙂 I am a strong swimmer but my weakness is also similar to yours except mice/rats….ewww —–>just got the willies typing that.

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