DiamondDiva has been my bestie for almost 20 years. 19 years and 8 months to be exact. She and I met as teenagers, and we’ve grown into women together. We’ve ushered each other through crushes, first loves, break ups, makes up and broken hearts. We’ve cheered loudly through graduations, promotions, new cars, new houses, marriages, pregnancies and cross country moves. We’ve cried together over broken hearts, broken promises, divorces, layoffs and deaths. We’ve made it through hard conversations where we’ve had to detail our misgivings about a partner, we’ve disagreed on how we’ve felt the other should have responded in certain situations, and we’ve had a few fights. We’ve both answered the phone at exactly the moment that the other needed to hear our voice the most. Sometimes, our best conversations have had very few words. I like to say that DiamondDiva and I are the kind of bestie’s that “Know where the bodies are buried, and when it’s time to move them to a new hiding spot“.
I’ve been kicking around a post about friendship, trust and loyalty for a few months. A few discussions in blogland and within my email listserve have disturbed me. Or rather, they’ve made me realize just how special my relationship with DiamondDiva really is. And honestly? I feel a little sad for anyone who hasn’t experienced a friendship like ours. I’ve been in the minority when discussing friendships issues related to one’s BFF. A scenario regarding your significant other traveling to the state your BFF lives in and staying in her home puzzled me, as most people were vehemently opposed to such. Wow. A scenario where your BFF called in the middle night and just didn’t sound right, elicited responses of, “She’d better get to the point” and “Somebody better be dead”. Wow. Then yesterday, my radio landed on the Micha.el Ba.isden show by accident. Truly by accident. But, I was compelled to listen for just a few moments. A caller indicated that her BFF was to be married at the end of the week, and the caller has personally witnessed her BFF’s fiancee and her maid of honor getting frisky in a hotel parking lot. Sweet lawd!! The caller was torn as to speak up or not. The conversation then shifted to if this was your bestie, would you tell? **smh** Most folks said no.
Wow. I’m stunned ya’ll. I don’t live under a rock and I’m certainly not naive. I know that matters of the heart are tricky, and I’m never one to stick my foot into a precarious situation without evaluating that thang every which way but loose. I guess I just don’t get it. What’s the point of having a BEST friend if there’s no trust, honesty and loyalty? What exactly does friendship mean to ya’ll? Who da hell are folks surrounded by? What’s the point of having a bestie or a real inner circle, if you can’t trust them with your ish???
DiamondDiva knows that I’m here for her and vice versa. There’s no conversation we can’t have, no matter how uncomfortable. There’s no phone call too long or too short, too late or too early. I trust her with my with my son, my husband, my heart, my wallet and everything in between. There’s simply no way in hell, I’d allow her to marry a fool who I personally SAW liplocking with a hooch and not say a word. Nope, not on my watch. Willfully watch my BEST friend enter into a marriage with information that she needs to know? Nah, I just can’t go for that. Obviously what she chooses to do with the info is up to her, but there’s no way on earth I’m gonna keep mute.
What about ya’ll? Do you have a bestie or BFF? I mean a proven, true blue, friend of your heart. Could you, or would you keep a life altering secret from that person? If so, please, please explain your reasons to me. Talk to me about what’s in your heart and mind. I really, really want to understand a different perspective on this.