Up in here, Up in HERE!!!! Ya’ll gon’ make me go all out, up in here, up in HERE!
Ya’ll gon’ make me act a fool, up in here, up in HERE!
One, Two – MEET ME OUTSIDE!!!!!
Maaaaaan, that used to be the jam!! In case you don’t know the lyrical reference (really? You don’t?) or you didn’t click the link (why not?), that is the chorus/refrain from “Party Up” by rapper DMX. Hands down, my favorite DMX song. By the time it came out in 1999, I had drifted far away from most rap because I just wasn’t feeling it – too violent, too misogynistic, too flashy, and really, just too different from the 80’s and 90’s hip hip that I loved. I’m old school for life. *lol* But when this jam came out??? DMX had me and many of ya’ll acting a fool!!
I never really followed him over the years, but every now and then I’d hear a news blurb about the DMX getting into some kind of trouble. It seems that he dipped, dabbled and damn near drowned in drugs and alcohol, causing him to almost lose his mind (for real) and in more than instance, actually lose his freedom. His drug issues and run ins with the law have been well publicized. Recently, he was the subject of a VH1, Behind the Music episode. I DVR’ed it a few weeks ago and finally got a chance to watch it last week. Wow! Have you seen it? No? If you have VH1, find it and watch it!
In case you haven’t seen it, X (as most call him) was raised by an abusive mother. By the age of 13, he was snatching purses and doing crack. ***crickets*** Say what? Yes, yes, ya’ll. Your boy was smoking crack by 13! Woooooooooooooooow! We’ve all got a story to tell, and I was GLUED to the television to hear his. He met his girlfriend (now wife) while he was a teenager and told her a few months into dating that he was, indeed, addicted to crack. Really???? And check this out – she stayed around. Didn’t catch the first thing smoking (pun intended), didn’t break up, didn’t give him an ultimatum; just kept dating him. Then married him. Wow!
A woman knowingly dated a crack addict. Let that sink in. As I started kicking it around in my head, I had to give him just a little credit. Hell, at least he was honest. *lol* The kid? I’d have been Audi 5000! I can co-sign and ignore the little ish with the best of ‘em, but a crack addiction? Uhn unh. Couldn’t do it. Homegirl was a trooper. Feel in love with, married, then had children with a crack addict. Stayed with him for about 15 years. Ironically, she told him then that she wouldn’t tolerate infidelity and that’s ultimately, what caused her to leave.
NOT the crack?? For real??? No, seriously. NOT the crack??
Hmm, ok, moving on. After that revelation, my mind started racing. Although smoking crack may be the extreme, how often do we (women and men), accept behavior in a mate because we simply love them? Think about your girlfriend dating the cute guy who drinks just a little too much, a little too often. What about your brother who dates the woman with credit so bad that she asked him to put her new apartment in his name? Or your new boyfriend who has a restraining order against him for abusing his last girlfriend? Some things are dealbreakers, but when in love, how often do people let the explanation outweigh the evidence to the contrary? Have you ever gone into a relationship with both eyes open regarding a habit, lifestyle or behavior that was dangerous or detrimental to the other person (and potentially yourself)? Care to share?