Ya’ll Gon’ Make Me Lose My Mind

Up in here, Up in HERE!!!!  Ya’ll gon’ make me go all out, up in here, up in HERE!

Ya’ll gon’ make me act a fool, up in here, up in HERE!

One, Two – MEET ME OUTSIDE!!!!!

Maaaaaan, that used to be the jam!! In case you don’t know the lyrical reference (really?  You don’t?) or you didn’t click the link (why not?), that is the chorus/refrain from “Party Up” by rapper DMX.  Hands down, my favorite DMX song.   By the time it came out in 1999, I had drifted far away from most rap because I just wasn’t feeling it – too violent, too misogynistic, too flashy, and really, just too different from the 80’s and 90’s hip hip that I lovedI’m old school for life. *lol*  But when this jam came out???  DMX had me and many of ya’ll acting a fool!!

I never really followed him over the years, but every now and then I’d hear a news blurb about the DMX getting into some kind of trouble.   It seems that he dipped, dabbled and damn near drowned in drugs and alcohol, causing him to almost lose his mind (for real) and in more than instance, actually lose his freedom. His drug issues and run ins with the law have been well publicized.  Recently, he was the subject of a VH1, Behind the Music episode.  I DVR’ed it a few weeks ago and finally got a chance to watch it last week.  Wow!  Have you seen it?  No?  If you have VH1, find it and watch it!

In case you haven’t seen it, X (as most call him) was raised by an abusive mother.  By the age of 13, he was snatching purses and doing crack.  ***crickets***  Say what?  Yes, yes, ya’ll.  Your boy was smoking crack by 13! Woooooooooooooooow!   We’ve all got a story to tell, and I was GLUED to the television to hear his.  He met his girlfriend (now wife) while he was a teenager and told her a few months into dating that he was, indeed, addicted to crack.  Really????  And check this out – she stayed around.  Didn’t catch the first thing smoking (pun intended), didn’t break up, didn’t give him an ultimatum; just kept dating him.  Then married him.  Wow!

A woman knowingly dated a crack addict. Let that sink in.  As I started kicking it around in my head, I had to give him just a little credit.  Hell, at least he was honest.  *lol*   The kid?  I’d have been Audi 5000!  I can co-sign and ignore the little ish with the best of ‘em, but a crack addiction?  Uhn unh.  Couldn’t do it.  Homegirl was a trooper.  Feel in love with, married, then had children with a crack addict.  Stayed with him for about 15 years.  Ironically, she told him then that she wouldn’t tolerate infidelity and that’s ultimately, what caused her to leave. 

NOT the crack??  For real???  No, seriously. NOT the crack??

Hmm, ok, moving on.  After that revelation, my mind started racing.  Although smoking crack may be the extreme, how often do we (women and men), accept behavior in a mate because we simply love them? Think about your girlfriend dating the cute guy who drinks just a little too much, a little too often. What about your brother who dates the woman with credit so bad that she asked him to put her new apartment in his name? Or your new boyfriend who has a restraining order against him for abusing his last girlfriend? Some things are dealbreakers, but when in love, how often do people let the explanation outweigh the evidence to the contrary?  Have you ever gone into a relationship with both eyes open regarding a habit, lifestyle or behavior that was dangerous or detrimental to the other person (and potentially yourself)?   Care to share?


21 thoughts on “Ya’ll Gon’ Make Me Lose My Mind

  1. DMX’s whole life story is sad, including the fame because even that didn’t help him get his stuff together.

    As for me, I entered into a relationship with a guy that I knew was selfish as all get out(like really; it’s my way or I’m mad kind of selfish). I was young and still thought I could love him into being better. I wouldn’t be able to deal with drug problems…but then again as a now 30 year old, I wouldn’t be able to deal with selfish either. I guess everyone’s tolerance level is different…hmmm.

    • Wasn’t is sad??? Thank goodness he had his grandmother for as long as he did, because without her, who knows if he’d even be alive today. He at least tred to keep it together a little for her.

      Good point – age definitely has a part to play in your level of acceptance.

  2. I think a lot of women enter in a relationship with there eyes wide shut. DMX’s wife took it to a new level. Me personally could never date or marry a damn crackhead. I usually never say never but in that case, I will make an exception.

  3. The person I was in my 20s, I may have looked over A LOT of things. But I don’t know about crack.

    Today, the person I am in my 40s, we wouldn’t finish a conversation, let alone a date and the rest of that ish!

  4. I had the hardest time trying to fathom WHY DMX’s then girlfriend would stick around after he flat out told her he was a crackhead.

    It’s just further proof that love will make you do some of the craziest things (I guess)!

    Of course, I too have put up with some crazy ish in the name of love but If I attempted to type em’ up here (in your comment section) it’ll be as long as a post so…I won’t.

    That situation STILL has mines beat by far though!

  5. It’s funny I hadn’t watched it yet, but my sister made it her business to call me and tell me about crackgate! LOL! She was like who in the hell does that? and where? I said girl evidently her and insert her city ____ here. I was amazed when I watched the show. I like DMX and my heart truly goes out to him, because you are truly shaped by your childhood. Whatever his mother did was clearly so bad he needed to escape daily with crack. So Sad! Maybe the wife saw that and just couldn’t walk away. *shrugs*

  6. i think too often women think their love can change things! Throw youth in there and it seems like a small thing! I married an alcoholic later drug addict.Didn’t know it until we did family share time at rehab! I just thought he liked to drink. Glad I got out of it but it still shook me!

    • Thanks for sharing Kim! Good point – women think that their support and love can help/heal/save a man from his dark side/vices. Happy that you made it out and I would think that your experience has made you stronger.

  7. Girl, there are no words…. Yeah there are ~ no way in the world would I knowingly date, marry and breed with a crack addict. I would be too worried about coming home finding out that my breast pump had been pawned. LOL

    But, yeah, I have done some stupid things for lust (’cause love may be blind but it ain’t stupid ~ you know going in, when something is wrong). But then I realized that I am worth more than what I was receiving and met and married a good man.

    Good post, you had me laughing and shaking my head….

  8. I think most of us have our limits. We won’t stay or even start a relationship if those limits are beyond what we can bare. I think when people stay with someone in the name of love, even when that person is a crack addict is because they think they might make a difference in that person’s life. But when someone is doing that badly, they usually end up bringing you down, too.

    I’ve never started a relationship knowing a man had serious problems (alcoholism, drugs, etc). Why start off that way?

    • Agreed – hard to help or change someone who doesn’t want to change. You end up being dragged down in the mud with them.
      Exactly! Relationships are hard enough. Why start out behind the eight ball?

  9. Smoking crack is okay, as long as you don’t cheat?

    DMX’s wife is/was on some mo’ ish.

    I have no idea what would cause a 13 year old to smoke crack, but whatever it was, it should be illegal. That is just horrible if I have ever heard of horrible. I hadn’t the chance to catch the Vh1 special but I heard everyone talking about it.

    That said, it’s amazing how far DMX was able to come and the amount of success he ultimately achieved. Hopefully he will be able to release his demons, get off the dope and reunite with his wife, if that’s in his heart.

    Also, I had written a post about hip hop/gangsta rap that you will enjoy whenever I decide to post it.

    • LOL! My thoughts exactly Don. I thought for a second maybe she was smoking too!
      His rise to fame and his ability to stay there for a couple of years is indeed remarkable.
      Ooooooww, looking forward to that post!

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