A Room With a View

Lately, Mr. Insomnia has been stopping by my house pretty regularly.  I try to ride it out while watching Nick at Nite or something.  Last night, I finally fell asleep during “Everybody Hates Chris” and woke up during “The George Lopez Show”.  Eh, it was my first time watching a full episode.  It was so-so to me.  I wouldn’t search for it, but if the tv was on that channel, I guess I’d let it ride.  Anyhow, the episode was about their teenage daughter and her first experiences into the dating world.  George Lopez was suspicious of her sneaky behavior (rightly so!) and the mother was very hippy, laissez-faire about the whole thing.  They disagreed on the subject and I was transported to a moment in 1991 when I thought that I was grown and my mama had to remind me that I wasn’t.

Picture it – fall 1991, I’m 15 years old, a junior in high school and starting to push the boundaries every now and again.  Once afternoon, I came home from school and my mother was sitting on my bed reading a “love” letter that my unauthorized “boyfriend” had written me.

Many thoughts floated through my head.  Damn, how’d she find that? How much did she read? What can I say? Which letter is it???? Now my mother was no snoop.  I’d left my diary out a hundred times and I was sure she’d never read it.  How did I know?  Because I tried to curse in it a few times and if she’d had read that, I’d surely know!  *lol*  Damn, I’d left it on my nightstand!!

Obviously, with so many crazy thoughts running through my head, it’s a miracle that I didn’t begin speaking in tongues.  Instead, something so ridiculous popped out and I’d live to regret it for months.

“What are you doing in my room, reading my stuff?  Can’t I have any privacy?” Then, I sighed, turned to leave the room and slammed the door.

Go ahead, shake your head. I’m shaking mine just thinking back to the scene.  I can imagine my mother slowly putting the letter on my desk and ever so slowly, following me into the hallway.  She walked over to where I stood and grabbed my jaw with her right hand, while speaking so calmly that it scared me shitless.

“Privacy?  Little girl, have you lost your damn mind?  You are allowed and expected to bath and dress in private, but that’s where it ends.  Every damn thing in this house belongs to your father and I.  We let you live here and we take care of you because you’re our child.  If you ever twist your face to throw the word privacy at me again, I’ll knock your block off.  Do you understand me?”

Didn’t I tell ya’ll a few weeks ago that Mama TDJ don’t play?  Then she smiled, kissed me on the cheek and told me to come set the table for dinner.  I stood there stunned for a few minutes.  Is that it?  Whew, I felt like I had dodged a  bullet.

Um, yeah, until the next day.  I got home from school and found that my bedroom door was gone.  Yep, removed from the hinges and taken from my doorway.  On my bed, she had written me a note that said, “TDJ, Those that slam doors don’t need them.  Love Mama, XOXOXO”

So, erra, um, on the subject of privacy, I’m MamaTDJ’s daughter.  She was old school, therefore, I’m old school.  Privacy?  Huh.  Not for my child, in my house.  I won’t be snooping (unless I my spidey sense goes off and I need to *lol*)

In the words of the infamous Senator Clay Davis, “Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttttt!”

What kind of privacy did you have growing up?  If you are a parent, what are your thoughts regarding privacy and your children?

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32 thoughts on “A Room With a View

  1. My mother also didn’t invade our privacy in those sorts of things. However, I also had a doorless room for a time for slamming it!! Ahhh. That time honored tradition. Lololol.

  2. LUVS it! my mother was also old school…i had my own line but couldn’t use it after 11pm…it didn’t have call waiting, WHY because my parents would randomly call it to ensure i wasn’t on it…wasn’t no sneaking calls at night etc etc…my mother wasn’t a snoop either but PC didn’t and still doesn’t miss a beat…i once slammed a door and stomped my feet…yea let’s just say LAST time i did that…she too was like your mom she didn’t stomp me into the floor but please believe i was warned that the next time she would…CLASSIC! i love my momma

    • Yeah, I didn’t get an extension in my room until I was in 11th grade.
      Ha ha @ them calling to make sure you weren’t on the phone. Sounds like my folks.

  3. Hilarious post. I don’t think any child has the right to complete privacy. There is no point in granting that much power at such an early and immature age. Just as we thanked our parents, our children will appreciate our similar efforts down the line.

    Too funny @ “which letter did she find?” and the fact that your mom and dad removed your door from the hinges. That is funny as hell and so real.

    • Exactly! I was mad, then hurt, then sad – in that moment.
      But looking back? My parents were AMAZING and I hope to be the same old school, hard ass with my son!

  4. My mom was and is a snoop! You did not lock any doors in the house. Anything up in that house was her’s. It was a straight dictator! You owned nothing and everything that came in the house she needed to know where it came from. Oh and nobody in the house when she wasn’t home!

    • I feel you on the dictatorship. The rules were the rules. PERIOD.
      Oooh, yeah, I wasn’t supposed to have anybody over either.
      There was that one time though. *lol* I’ll blog about that soon!

  5. Reading your post and the comments was funny. Privacy? What’s that? My mother was the same yet different. I enjoyed reading about the discipline with the implied threat. I think I may have been a child abuse victim, because if I ever even dared to do something like THAT?!? I think I would just be waking up from that knock out like Rip Van Winkle!

    • Girl, in that moment, I just knew she was gonna kill me. I’d only close one or two other times, but I was shocked when she didn’t. I didn’t get beatings/spankings, but I got popped in the mouth OFTEN for sucking my teeth or making smart comments.

  6. Privacy Schmivacy!! My kids will gets none. I’m all about going through stuff. They won’t even know I did it unless I find something scandalous. My parents wern’t big sticklers about it but that also because I was a little angel. But I do love the idea of taking the doo aoff the hinges. I may have to use that one.

  7. Privacy as a child?!?!?! Hmpff…I wish!
    I didn’t have any privacy growing up and I make sure that none of my kids do either. Hell…if they want privacy, they are welcome to move out and get it but not in MY house!

  8. We weren’t allowed to close doors, but my parents weren’t snoops.

    I’ll probably be the same way – no closed doors, watching to see what comes in and goes out of the house, etc. But I’m not trying to be the police unless I see that it is necessary.

  9. I have to say that my parents never snooped in my room however I doubt if I will be that type of parents. Kids today are exposed to so much more and you have to keep your eyes and ears open. Senator Clay Davis, was probably one of my favorite characters on The Wire and that is a classic line, me and my bro still use it 🙂

  10. Privacy, it was only a vocabulary word that didn’t mean a thing in my parents house. And likewise, it means nothing in my house. From time to time, my husband and I have to remind our children they don’t own shieeeeeeeeeeet, in our house!

    You have brought back memories, and made me laugh hard out loud!

  11. Omg! I think we grew up in the same house! I tell my kids that all the time. There is no privacy as long as they are living under my roof. Especially when it comes to the computer and the cell phones. I check them periodically and I have passwords to all of their accounts. If I find out there is an unauthorized account, they lose their privileges. It’s as simple as that. Those things are like inviting strangers into your home, so have to keep track of that.

    • HIGH FIVE DAENEL!! My little guy is only 18 months, but I can’t imagine all the technological advances as he grows older. I like that you periodically check their accounts. I’ll be adopting that plan too – thanks!
      Thanks for visiting!

  12. first off cuz I love the blog spot and am gonna check in regularly, so you know CB was a crazy as they come lol.

    lemme set the scene… I’m a junior in HS and I come walking thru the door I open the door to my room and my dad is red yup yas dark as he is (can you picture his face?) I’m like dad whats wrong? he says “so your doing drugs huh” me” what?” he said “you heard me! your doing speed?” (pause, it was a thursday night and I was going to club speed so the diary it says omg cant wait till friday night were doing speed) he damn near signed me up to NA and had the bags packed till I called Denise and said where did we go on Friday…SMDH

    sometimes snooping makes an ass out of you and me lol.

    hilarious that your mom took your door off lol go Aunt Renee hahahahaha

    • Bwahahaha @ “you’re doing speed?” Way to jump all over that one Unc!! I love it!
      Yeah, my mama goes HARD in the paint to make her point.
      Thanks for coming by cuz!

  13. I never caught my mom reading my journal when I was a teen, but I’m sure she has from time to time. I eventually got a password protected journal-I had some real secrets to keep. (not really)

    When my kids become teens, I don’t know how I’ll handle the privacy thing. All I know is that I want them to feel comfortable enough that they won’t hide major things from me.

    • Ah, a password! Never had one. I did have the kind with the teeny weeny key and lock, but I was so rough and heavy handed that I broke it by accident. I hope my son won’t hide stuff either, but I’ll be sure to check things out to make sure he isn’t!

  14. My mom always said that every room in her home belonged to her. We had no privacy and she could (and would) do an “inspection” at any time. I didn’t test her too much, because I knew she wasn’t playing. She was a high school teacher/guidance counselor and she watched Oprah every day!

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