Hell, Beyonce made, “To the left, to the left” a hit refrain. Maybe if I start walking around singing, “To the right, to the right”, some of them will start moving!
I love 99% of my commute from Washington, DC to Baltimore, MD. I travel along the Baltimore Washington Parkway and it’s a very direct and typically stress free trip, except when the road is full of them. For those of you who are not familiar, the BW Parkway is two lanes for approximately 25 miles. Yes, only two lanes. And two lane highways ALWAYS bring them out.
I detest them. Some days, I don’t see any of them. And other days, LIKE TODAY, I want to brandish a weapon and banish them from earth. Who are do I keep referring to as them, you ask? You might just be one of them. I hope not, because if so, your feelings may be hurt by what I’m about to say.
THEM are slow drivers who don’t acknowledge their part in the collective driving experience. THEM are people who should have learned in driver’s ed that the left lane is for passing. THEM are the driver’s who need to get their asses into the right lane.
Huh? What’d you say MrsTDJ? Say it a little louder for those that didn’t get it the first time. You know, the slow folks who are talking on cell phones, singing with Johnny Cash, thinking about the weather, etc. You know, the folks who don’t make driving the active task. I said, Slower drivers should move their asses to the right because the left lane is for passing.
Let me say this – no matter the posted speed limit or how fast you’re driving, if you are in the left lane with empty road ahead of you, MOVE and let the cars behind you go. This is especially true if the car behind you is very close to the rear of your car, if they have honked at you or flashed their lights. Don’t get me wrong, I think tailgating is dangerous and I think honking and flashing is aggressive and rude. Some drivers get so frustrated, they begin to play the zig zag game, just to get past them. But, like Chris Rock told us, “I ain’t sayin’ it’s right, but I understand.” I don’t condone aggressive driving, but dag nabit I understand.
I’m sure that I’ll hear the following objections from the very folks who are talking about.
They’ll say, “I’m going the speed limit, so I can stay in the left lane.”
To that, I say, “No, the left lane is for passing, so if someone is trying to pass you, then you need to move from the left lane.”
They’ll say, “You’re going too fast and it’s dangerous.”
I counter with, “Get in the right lane and I’ll be past you before you know it. Crisis averted.”
They’ll say, “I’m not moving because you’re speeding and you shouldn’t be going that fast anyway.”
I laugh LOUDLY and say, “Until you get a badge and the ability to pull me over for speeding, move the hell outta my way. I’ll worry about the law, but thanks your concern.”
They’ll say, “The speed limit is 55 and I’m going 65.”
I shake my head and retort, “Yes, but we all learned that 70 and 75 are faster than 65. No matter how fast you’re going, if I appear to be going faster, move it slow poke!”
Bottom line, stay in or move into the right lane if you’re not a fast driver. If you happen to be in the left lane, please realize that your rear view and side mirrors are there to help you, not hurt you. If you see a car approaching rapidly in the mirror, basic physics tell us that they’re going faster than you, so move to the right. If the road in front of you is clear and there is a line of cars behind you, move to the right.
Perhaps I’m a bit impatient. Perhaps. It’s the native New Yorker in me. (Ah, ya’ll remember that jam? Native New Yorker by Odyssey? Whew, that’s an oldie but goodie) Or maybe I just seem like I’m in a rush because they’re always driving like we’re on a country road in Idaho, on the way to a Sunday picnic with nothing but time on our hands.
I’ll probably get some cheers from the other fast drivers and some strong words from, but it’s a free country so express yourself. What kind of driver are you and what are your pet peeves behind the wheel?