I talk about my grandmother, LuLu, from time to time. She’s a natural comedian and she doesn’t even know it. I’ve written of her theories regarding of my aunt turning into a criminal here, her thoughts regarding the shady 2006 election here, pedophiles riding on buses here and her love for pork chops and gravy here.
I called her this past Sunday because it was her 84th birthday. Here’s what happened:
Me: Hi Grandma! Happy Birthday!
LuLu: Harry who? No, you got the wrong number.
Me: **raising voice one decibel** No, Gram, it’s MrsTDJ. I said, Happy Birthday.
LuLu: You gonna have to speak up ’cause I can’t hear too good.
Me: **raising voice another decibel and speaking very slowly** H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y!
LuLu: Reggie, take this here phone and see what they want. I can’t hear nothing. Silly folks playing on my phone.
Shuffling and muffled sounds, as I wait for my Uncle Reggie to pick up the phone.
Me: Hey Unc! It’s MrsTDJ. How are you?
Reggie: Hey babygirl! Can’t complain. How are you? How’s baby boy TDJ?
Me: Everything is good and he’s great. I’m just trying to wish Grandma a happy birthday.
In the background, I hear:
LuLu: Who’s on my phone Reggie?
Reggie: It’s MrsTDJ, trying to wish you a happy birthday.
LuLu: Well why is she talking to you then? Don’t be wasting all that long distance. Gimme the phone.
**sigh** More shuffling and muffled sounds, as I wait for my Grandma to pick up the phone.
Me: Happy Birthday Grandma!
LuLu: Oh thank you baby. It’s after 6 in the evening though. Why you just calling me now? My birthday is almost over.
Me: Grandma, I’ve been calling all day. You refuse to get call waiting, so I’ve been getting busy signals all day.
LuLu: Oh, you right. Ok, I’m gonna let you go so we don’t tie up the line anymore. Love ya, gotta go!
Click. Dead air and me just sitting there, holding the cordless phone. Love you too Grandma!
For her 80th birthday, we bought her a brand new hearing aid that she r.e.f.u.s.e.s. to wear? Why you ask? Because, “I can hear too much stuff!”
Are any of your grandparents still living? If so, how often do you talk to or see them?