A Hard Head Makes for a Soft *ss!

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I know my mama wasn’t the only one to burn that phrase into my head!  She would use it in the moments when I was teetering on the edge of a disaster of some sort.  It was a not so subtle warning that the next decision I made would be the difference between an *ss whooping or a warm embrace.   She could apply this phrase to various situations at church, school or home.

Didn’t clean your room on Sat morning like you were supposed to?   Ok, you’ve got until dinner time.  Remember, a hard head makes for a soft *ss!

Cut up and passed notes in Sunday School?  You got warned once and then you got popped.  After that first warning, which was a raised eye and clenched teeth, she’d say, keep it up.  A hard head makes for a soft *ss!

Maybe my mama was the only one, but I doubt it!  Well, the older I get, I’ve decided to start incorporating some of my mother’s wise expressions into my life.  I think this one fits the bill in regards to freedom of information and social networking sites.

I’ve been trying to talk to and encourage my younger family members to be very careful regarding the information and photos that they post on social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter.  I see updates that I think reveal too much information, including underage drinking and things of that nature.

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True story – an 18 year old cousin of mine, let’s call him Ding Dong, received acceptance and a partial scholarship to ABC College in rural Ohio.  Back in March, at an 18th birthday party for a school mate, Ding Dong and 3 friends decided to take shots of Patron.  From shot glasses resting in the navels of 4 scantily clad female friends.   Um…ok.   So, ya did it, underage drink, that is  But did you’re silly friends have to take pictures?  So, when I saw the pictures pop up on Facebook, I promptly sent him a text message saying, “Hey DD, I don’t think you should put those pics on  your page.  I’ll be turning 33 in this summer, so I’m pretty that makes your little butt 18.   Take the pics down or I’m telling Auntie!”  Well, Ding Dong obviously thought I was bluffing because he did not take the  pics down.  I gave him a week and then I told my Aunt.  What????  He should have listened.  Unfortunately for DD, the damage was already done.  ABC College monitors the internet for the activities of all incoming students.  They saw Ding Dong’s pictures and promptly issued him a persona non grata letter which stated that, “ABC College seeks to uphold it’s rich history and tradition of excellence.  Unfortunately, this matter has caused us to question your decision making skills, susceptibility to peer pressure and personal motivation.  Therefore, after careful consideration, we have rescinded our offer for you to join our Freshman Class of 2009.”   Damn Ding Dong, I guess nobody took and told you that a hard head makes for a soft *ss!

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A young lady on a listserve that I belong has been interviewing and encountering the job seekers blues.  She finally found a position advertised that she was excited about the possibilities.  A little too excited, so she sent a tweet about it.  A tweet is a post to Twitter for those that don’t know.  The tweet contained the company name and the position.  Actually, she sent 2 tweets about it – one before the interview for good vibes and prayers, and one after saying that the interview went well and to thank folks for their support.  Well, as luck would have it, the hiring manager called her over the weekend.  They, XYZ company, saw her tweet.  And the position for which she interviewed is not yet vacant.  Said employee is being fired in the near future.  Ouch!   The young lady was quite indignant when posting to the listserve and asked for guidance in sending a “strong message” to the hiring manager about “being censored” etc.  Really?  Seriously?  Rewind that back and remember which one of them is the employer and which one in the job seeker?  I suppose her mama didn’t tell her that a hard head makes for a soft *ss, but I think she may understand after today.

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A chatty neighbor that shares way too much information with me when I’m outside in my yard has told me that she’s having a “thing” with a man she met on Myspace.  Interesting place to meet a mate, but who am I to judge?  Things are going good for them and she’s hearing wedding bells.  Too bad he heard them 2 years ago with someone else.  She’s now receiving emails and text messages from this fool’s crazy wife.  The wife hacked the husband’s Myspace account and found all the messages that hubby and neighbor have shared.   I almost felt bad for my neighbor until she told me, “I knew he was married, but he said he was getting a divorce.  This is just like my last boyfriend!”  Oh, so you’ve got a habit of this, have you?  Guess it’s going to take some dude’s wife to pop her upside the head with a brick to get it.  Um, huh, nobody ever told her that a hard head makes for a soft *ss!

I’m not saying I know it all folks.  But, I don’t need to touch the fire to know it’s hot.  Underage drinking – not cool.  Getting busted on it via Facebook – even worse.  Tweeting about a job interview – not horrible.  Getting busted and being indignant about your rights – not cool.   Kicking it with a married man – not cool.  Getting busted through his Myspace account – even worse.  Monitor your online persona please.  There isn’t too much that’s actually private about this here internet.  Remember that and learn it or your will get burned for sure.   Do a google search on your name and see what comes up.  Now try searching for one of your “screen names” from an online forum.  Surprised by the results?  Whether you are on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Black Planet (do people still use that????), Match.com, Linkedin, Flickster, or any other online “place”, protect yourself and watch what you say and do.   I know for a FACT that a hard head makes for a soft *ss!


15 thoughts on “A Hard Head Makes for a Soft *ss!

  1. Great post! I learned the hard way that you don’t have the right to free speech and freedom of expression. I’ve always protected myself against financial concerns (job liability, etc.), but I learned through experience that you also have to protect against ‘friends’ and strangers. There is no safe place for expression except through anonymity. So I post about food and recipes, lol, and keep my personal life and creativeness under lock and key.

  2. Preach, preach, preach! The young’ins just don’t get it. Well, some grown a$$ folks don’t get it either. I especially feel sorry for our mutual listserve ‘little sister’. She has learned a very hard lesson if she doesn’t get the job she interviewed for. She should have left out the name of the company and the position. Big brother is watching.

  3. And might I add you may have internet stalkers…. I have had one for 4 years. I want to write about it on my blog but she found it and I don’t want to give her any more attention. My nick name is Hollywood but geeze I didn’t know I had fans. LOL

  4. That saying will forever be burned in my memory because my mom tended to back it up with a paint stirrer she called “The Magic Wand of Make Behave.” And it served its purpose, BELIEVE me, lol

    Some folks just don’t listen and they have to find out the hard way. And as far as BlackPlanet, I still use it. Daily. Oh, the shame.

  5. excellent advice. where have these people been? do they not have access to television or radios? who hasn’t heard about the ills of over zealous Internet use? they play too much and they play with grown folk.

  6. Wow this is a great post. Too many folks need to read it. Especially teens who put all their personal stuff up like drinking and dancing the nasty dances. But you may some great points here.

  7. Yeah my parents should have whipped my lil ass..instead they would put me in a corner ((that doesn’t work on little black kids))…and just piss me off more. I blame them for all my clashes with authority….wow I’m the most undisciplined adult I know…but I’m working on that….I really am!



  8. Solid advice. The piece that I am posting on my site tomorrow has a similar moral. But I don’t want to give it away…

    Thanks for the great read!


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