Please come and get YOUR cousins!

All my life, I’ve thought that the purpose of a fence was to outline/frame the perimeter of a property, keep animals in or out of said property, or to beautify the above-mentioned property.  Well folks, after the nonsense that went on in my neighborhood last night, I now realize that the purpose of our fence was to save that turqoise Le Sabre circa 1996/1997 from crashing through the wall of our living room.

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This was the scene this morning, after the dust had settled.  Last night, at exactly 8:58pm, Mr. TDJ and I were home playing with Little Man when we heard the biggest crash, followed by Mr. TDJ’s car alarm going off.  My reflexes are quicker than his and I was out the front door in 30 seconds flat.  I looked left, then right and saw nothing.  I walked to the edge of the front porch and was stunned speechless for a good 5 seconds.  Those that know me realize that for me to stunned speechless, some serious ish has to be happening.  In my driveway/back yard, is an old school Buick LeSabre.  Ya’ll, we don’t own a Buick LeSabre.

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As I’m trying to process my missing fence and newly acquired vehicle, I watch a man exit from the passenger front seat, make eye contact with me and run off down the street.  WTH??  I look back at the car and the driver is still sitting behind the wheel.  The interior overhead light is on, so I can see his face clearly.  He’s struggling and wiggling all around, either pinned from the crash or having a hell of a time with his seatbelt. 

My mind has already processed this scene as either a stolen car, carjacking, robbery or some variation of the three.  Just in case the dude behind the wheel had a weapon, I bounced myself back into the house to call 9-1-1.   Mr. TDJ rolled outside to check things out when I briefed him while waiting for the 9-1-1 operator to pickup.  Yeah, I said waiting.  In Prince George’s County, MD, sometimes you wait when calling in reference to an emergency.  I hope I don’t ever REALLY need emergency assistance.

By the time Mr. TDJ gets outside, the driver has disappeared, leaving the keys in the ignition, car running, doors flung open and my fence in pieces.  All of my neighbors come out while I’m in the window talking to to 9-1-1.  The police do actually arrive quickly (Yeah, Town of Seat Pleasant Police!! – Boo, Prince George’s County Police!!) and realize that one of the suspects is down the street, injured, hiding behind a bush.  A bush?  Seriously dude, a bush?  Hmph, not a shock that you stole a Buick LeSabre.

The detectives questioned me and I gave them a A+ description of the perps.  Based on my details, they asked me what my occupation was.  Mr. TDJ yells from the other room, “Nosey neighbor!  That’s her job!”  Ya’ll see why I don’t like him?  *lol*  Anyway, my daddy is a police officer and your girl doesn’t play when it comes to details.  Plus, the writer in me notices everything.

Thankfully there is no damage to our home, but as you can see the fence took a beating.  Please, please, please in the future, tell your cousins to carjack better cars and keep them off my street!

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22 thoughts on “Please come and get YOUR cousins!

  1. Girl…no dude was NOT hiding behind a damn bush?!?! LOL

    I’m wonderin’ what he was smokin’ on cuz he haaaaaaaad to be hella high if he thought he wouldn’t get caught!

    Thankfully, no one was hurt…

  2. OMG… when I saw this on the news I didn’t think it would be someone I knew.. LAWD BEGEESUS just happy YOU, HUBBY AND LIL MAN WAS NOT HURT

    Now somebody really need to get ray ray and dem.. this is crazy!!!

  3. First crackheads “mow” your lawn with a rake (that post cracks me up to this day) and now negroes are doing scenes from the fast and the furious in your backyard. Lawd have mercy!! lol lol lol I’m glad your family was not harmed.

  4. This is too much. Two fools! Seems like someone couldn’t drive worth a darn! Glad that’s all that happened cause folks are stupid and crazy now.

  5. I’m glad you and your family were ok.

    This right here WAS THE BEST PART of the post: “As I’m trying to process my missing fence and newly acquired vehicle, I watch a man exit from the passenger front seat, make eye contact with me and run off down the street. WTH?? I look back at the car and the driver is still sitting behind the wheel. The interior overhead light is on, so I can see his face clearly. He’s struggling and wiggling all around, either pinned from the crash or having a hell of a time with his seatbelt. “

  6. WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im glad you all are ok!!!!!

    i was on your old blog i didnt know you’d changed! glad you came back to my blog finally..LOL

    anyway…like so many others i’m going private…. hit my email so that I can invite you as a reader Veronica.TheMovement@gmail.com (that’s a period between “Veronica” and “TheMovement”

  7. *sigh* Blacks. Coloreds. Negroes. Hilarious!!!!!!

    bwahahahahaha!!!! You cannot hide your black ass behind a SMALL shrub!!! LMAO!!!!

    PS I am glad nobody was hurt and the worlds dumbest carjackers are in custody.

  8. Gril I tried to tell Ray Ray, new to stop that car jacking, some family you just can’t tell nothing you know.

    Glad everyone was ok. and that includes the house.

    Alicia

  9. Girl. You need some kind of repellent/electric fence for your lawn. Somebody is always up on it! Glad you guys are okay, tho.

  10. Pingback: A Little of This and A Little of That « Just Another Day In Chocolate City

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