When Did We Become Cool Like That?


Was it moment that the word made it’s way through the building and you heard that I was pregnant?

Was it the first time you saw me in the hallway and noticed my “baby bump”?

Was it when you got the email from my assistant about my “surprise” office shower?
Or was it simply the moment that you acknowledged our united “womanhood”?

No matter the second that the notion struck you, I’m here to tell you that WE’RE NOT COOL LIKE THAT. Make note, I’m not referring to family, friends or even those in the cyber world who I call buddies. I’m specifically referring to co-workers. Not office friends, buddies or even lunch pals. Rather the co-workers that simply work in the same facility, building or department. The ones who pronounce my first name wrong after working with me for over 4 years. The ones that normally don’t speak and avoid eye contact. You know the ones?

Pregnancy is a condition that unfortunately, becomes visibly obvious to anyone of average intelligence at some point during the months preceding the little one’s arrival.
However, visible evidence aside, it is still a personal decision and I strongly feel that the details are not public information unless you decide to share. Is TDJ just a sourpuss? I think not. I simply think that some of questions I’ve been asked over the last week border on noisy and intrusive, while the rest fall the hell into the “damn, I can’t believe you asked me that” zone.

Examples include:
Wow, that weight fell off and hubby couldn’t keep his hands to himself huh?
But you lost so much weight! Are you going to be able to get it back off after the baby?
Are you planning a natural childbirth or a c-section?
Are you going to breast feed? I really think you should.
You’re 32, have you had the baby tested for Down’s syndrome and stuff?
Were you guys trying or was this a slip-up?

What the hell is wrong with people? When did it become ok to simply say anything to anyone? Simple questions like, is this your first or do you know what you’re having don’t irritate me. That’s just curiosity and although I wouldn’t ask a virtual stranger, I understand those that do. But, the questions that I’ve been getting? Inappropriate in my book. So you know what, my cranky ass have developed a list of equally inappropriate responses. Here they go:

Wow, that weight fell off and hubby couldn’t keep his hands to himself huh?
How do you know it’s my husband’s baby?
Were you guys trying or was this a slip-up?
Damn those dollar store condoms!
But you lost so much weight! Are you going to be able to get it back off after the baby?
I hope so, if not I’m not opposed to trying crack-cocaine.
Are you planning a natural childbirth or a c-section?
Not sure, but I’ll call you from Labor and Delivery for your opinion.
Are you going to breast feed? I really think you should.
I think you shouldn’t ask such nosey questions.
You’re 32, have you had the baby tested for Down’s syndrome and stuff?
Why – do you have a cure?

Rude is rude no matter how you frame it. I get the fact that most people, especially women, like babies. I get the fact that most people are excited with the possibility of a baby being anywhere in the vicinity. I get it! But, does that green light the rudeness?

Perhaps I’m extra sensitive during my 2nd trimester, but I think not. I am extra cranky, so I pity the co-worker that approaches me on a real bad day. They’re gonna catch hell!

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18 thoughts on “When Did We Become Cool Like That?

  1. Oooo yeah. Your ass IS cranky!

    Maybe I am just over nosy because the natural thing ain’t that outta line to me.

    But your responses are kinda funny.

    But never mind them questions. I wanna know, can I rub and squeeze on ya belly?

  2. WTH? You work with a bold bunch. I don’t think you’re being sensitive at all. Most, if not all of those questions are downright out of line. You’re responses to them are downright hilarious, though! Try not to go off on them 🙂

  3. @ AR Gal – I swear, I’m gonna explode and actually say it.

    @ 68 – I’m not cranky! *lol* And, no rubbing of the belly! Not even for my Detriot brother! 🙂

    @ Aretha – Bold is an understatement! I’m trying to keep it calm.

    @ Anon – Never thought of that, but you are so right. I have heard some of those awful comments in passing. People can be awful!

  4. ABSOLUTELY DONE!!! I did NOT realize that is what you were talking about yesterday!!! hahahaaaa your responses…PRICELESS.. How do you know its my husband’s baby.. DEAD

    the questions are beyond inappropriate and pardon me as the HR side comes out.. YOU CAN GET THEIR ARSES IN TROUBLE!!!!

  5. CLOSE THE CASKET NOW PLEASE, CAUSE I’M DEAD AFTER READING YOUR RESPONSES!! You are absolutely on point. I couldn’t imagine asking those sort of questions with a friend, but to cross that line with a co-worker – NOT EVEN my “WORK-WIFE” would I ask such personal stuff….I bet the heck they won’t ask you any more questions!!

  6. Good answers!
    I wish I could see the face of the person who gets that”who said it’s my husband’s” answer. PRICELESS

    ONEFROMPHILLY

  7. Well according to MY book, pregnant women should be allowed to punch people who ask stupid questions in the face and not face any sort of repercussions. But that’s just one theory. This made me laugh. Just wait til 3rd trimester…LOL!

  8. No rubbing? And you say you ain’t cranky? Hmmmm… Well I see I am gonna have to tackle you (ever so gently) and write “Detroit Demolition Rules!!!” on ya big belly!

  9. You are so right, it has become so acceptable to say anything to anybody and that is a sore peeve of mine. I’m working on it!

  10. That’s why I make it my business to keep my mouth closed when I see a pregnant woman. Especially if I don’t know her ‘like that’ just like she might be having a bad, I could be having a bad day too. That’s why it’s always best to just smile and keep it moving, if she wants to ‘share’ she will, if she doesn’t that’s ok too.

    p.s. Congrats on your pregnancy!!!!!!

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