Anyways, I called my grandmother to tell her that I was coming and here’s how our conversation went:
Me: Hey LuLu!
LuLu: Hey baby! Ain’t your goddaughter graduating from college soon, up here in New Jersey? You coming to see me?
Me: I sure am. Next weekend.
LuLu: This weekend?
Me: No, Grandma. Next weekend.
LuLu: Oh, for Mother’s Day. How nice. You driving by yourself?
Me: I was, but I decided to take the bus.
LuLu: I’m here, I was just thinking about them buses. You be careful. Take and pin your money in your bra so them pickpockets won’t get you.
Me: Uh, ok, I’ll be sure to do that.
LuLu: And don’t be wearing no cute clothes. You know them pedophiles hang out at the bus stations looking for women to mess with.
Me: Pedophiles? LuLu, I’m 31, so I’m pretty sure I don’t have to worry about pedophiles.
LuLu: What did I just tell you? I watch Dateline girl and they be catching them predatoring women everywhere! There are pedophiles hiding everywhere and you better watch out of that there bus.
Me: Um, yes ma’am, I heard you and I’ll be careful.
So, next weekend, I’ll be the only 31 year old woman, with her money pinned inside her bra, wearing the homeliest, most unflattering outfit she could find. I can’t no listen to LuLu’s law!