Them Vs. Us

I love 99% of my commute from Washington, DC to Baltimore, MD. I travel along the Baltimore Washington Parkway and it’s a very direct and typically stress free trip. Except when they are on the road. For those of you who are not familiar, the BW Parkway is two lanes for approximately 25 miles. Yes, only two lanes. And two lane highways ALWAYS bring them out.

I detest them. Some days, I don’t see any of them. And other days, I want to pull out my hair and banish them from earth. Who are they, you ask? You might just be one of them. I hope not, because if so, your feelings may be hurt by what I’m about to say.

Slowers drivers should move to the right because the left lane is for passing.

Huh? What’d you say TDJ? Say it a little louder for those that didn’t get it the first time. I said, Slower drivers should move to the right because the left lane is for passing.

Let me say this – no matter the speed limit or how fast you’re driving, if you are in the left lane with empty road ahead of you, MOVE and let the cars behind you go. This is especially true if they are very close to the rear of your car, if they have honked at you or flashed their lights. Don’t get me wrong, I think tailgating is dangerous and I think honking and flashing is aggressive and rude. But, like Chris Rock said, “I ain’t sayin’ it’s right, but I understand.”

Now folks who observe the posted speed limits and drive in the left lane will object to this post.

They’ll say, “I’m going the speed limit, so I can stay in the left lane.”
I say, “No, the left lane is for passing, so if someone is trying to pass you, then you need to move from the left lane.”

They’ll say, “You’re going too fast and it’s dangerous.”
I say, “Get in the right lane and I’ll be past you before you know it. Crisis averted.”

They’ll say, “I’m not moving because you’re speeding and you shouldn’t be going that fast anyway.”
I say, “Until you get a badge and the ability to pull me over for speeding, move the hell outta my way. I’ll worry about the law, but thanks your concern.”

They’ll say, “The speed limit is 55 and I’m going 65.”
I say, “Yes, but we all learned that 70 and 75 are faster than 65. No matter how fast you’re going, if I appear to be going faster, move it slow poke!”

Bottom line, stay in the right lane if you’re not a fast driver. If you happen to be in the left lane, please realize that your rear view and side mirrors are there to help you, not hurt you. If you see a car approaching rapidly in the mirror, that mean’s they’re going faster than you, so move to the right. If the road in front of you is clear and there is a line of cars behind you, move to the right. Some drivers get so frustrated, they begin to play the zig zag game, just to get past them.

Perhaps I’m a bit impatient and ya girl is always in a rush. Perhaps. Or maybe I just seem like I’m in a rush because they’re driving like we’re on a country road in Idaho, on the way to Sunday service.

I’ll probably get some cheers from the other fast drivers and some strong words from them, but don’t worry, I’m ready for them. I drive a Volkswagon Passat and I’ll be in the left lane going so fast that they won’t be able to catch me.


13 thoughts on “Them Vs. Us

  1. TDJ…EVERY TIME you post I find more similiarities between you and I. I have SEVERE road rage for folks that do this. SEVERE!

  2. They are the ones that make ME look crazy to other drivers that roll up next to me. The other drivers usually peek over in my window and catch me in the middle of a WHAT THE F*&^% are you doing?!?!? reaction to the slow driver.

    But I rarely experience that on my commute to work because I sit on the Beltway and we NEVER reach the speed limit. Arrrgghhhh….

  3. @ Creole – Girl, sometimes I need to be talked down from the edge!

    @ Always – Thanks for visiting! I know that look well. *lol* at the Beltway not moving. I’m so happy that I don’t have to navigate that every day.

  4. I stay in the right lane for the most part because I don’t want YALL honking and flashing lights at me because I WILL slam on brakes and cause you to rear end me. LOLOLOLOL!!!! I feel you, though. Even slow folks in the RIGHT lane irk me. Go at least the speed limit! OK!


    i promise i didn’t know what to expect when i started reading this post! i know exactly what you mean about THEM!! and maybe that’s why i found this so damn funny!!

    heyyyyy TDJ!!

    i know i’ve been incognegro lately but i wanna thank you for adding me to your prayers and for continuing to stop by the “house” to check on me!! i’m comin’ around girl!! 😀 TRUST.

    anyhoo… thank you for the laugh, missy!!


  6. oh my god you’re reading my mind! I commute from DC to Tyson’s Corner and get on 395 to GW Parkway which is also two lanes and I swear these people sit in the left lane on purpose to annoy me and all the others who drive faster then the speed limit. Who drives 50 mph on a parkway?!?! Right only some idiot sitting in the left lane and driving a high powered vehicle while I drive by in my put put. uhhhh I am not looking forward to my commute tomorrow morning. Thank God for the ipod adapter.

    BTW I drive a silver honda civic :-).

  7. @ Keisha and Tndr – I appreciate the fact that ya’ll keep it to the right.

    @just b – girl, THEY tested me again this morning. Good to hear from you!

    @ Honest – Ugh! The BW and GW Pkwy might as well be the same thing. I used to take it to Bethesda (to 495, to River Road). You REALLY feel me on this topic!

  8. Got one question for you — how many speeding tickets have you gotten? LOL
    I’m a speeder too. Again, perhaps we both need an intervention.

  9. @ AGAW – Just a little RR. I try to keep a stress ball in the car to squeeze.

    @ Michelle – Obviously, we will soon be on A&E together as they film our pop culture/speeding “Intervention”. *lol* BTW, I’m a little lucky – my dad is a polic officer, so I’ve got handy little Fraternal Order of Police license plates and a wallet size badge! 🙂

  10. Yes cheers because I can’t stang “them” either…I used to commute from Forestville to UMBC via the parkway daily…so I totally feel your pain…TOTALLY…

    Thanks for stopping past the spot…totally enjoyed reading something that I could relate to

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